Say “have to” and “need to” less;
say “want to” and “hope to” more.
Self-talk is not always positive. Perhaps you have had occasion to notice this in yourself; I have noticed it in me, and friends have indicated I am not alone in this. I have recently discovered how subtle this negative self-talk can be; hence my resolution.
You see, every time I say “I have to” do this or that “needs to” be done, the next thing I do, almost instantaneously, is check into whether I am willing to do this thing in the immediate or foreseeable future, and if the answer is no, then I clearly am an irresponsible lazy bum. This is patently absurd. At least, this is what friends and family tell me, and I think I can rely on these people on this matter. They are not above letting me know when I let them down. (That’s a good thing in my book.)
And when it comes right down to it, I don’t “have to” do a big straighten-up of the kitchen soon. I don’t even “have to” clean the bathrooms in the next day or two, although that is likely to happen. I do “want to” give the kitchen a good going over, because I hate a cluttered kitchen, and its current state is getting on my nerves. And of course bathrooms: I mean really, one almost wants to clean them every single day because they are always a little gross seeming, even when they are clean. At least, that’s my feeling. Still I don’t “want to” prioritize either of these for immediate action. I have other activities (like quilting and sewing and writing this post) that seem more important to me than the state of my kitchen or bathrooms. Clearly, I want to do these activities more. But I am being active and responsible, not lazy and irresponsible.
Therefore, I am resolving to change the way I think about “tasks” or “chores” in my life, so that I quit thinking of myself as an irresponsible lazy bum a half dozen times each day. Life is just too short to do that to oneself.